愚人节

你四月离去,还以为再也不会见到你,你却就在几个星期内回国,相信这次连你会同意玩笑开得有点残忍。五个月的时间,我没改变什么。 连手机中的简讯,照片,你吃饭时样子又有点蠢又可爱,视频中录下我的笑声,都保存着,显然,我始终没变聪明,学会了什么。原本希望我们在此相见时,我能以沉静的一副面对你,现在反而害怕会露出我依然还没彻底解除的情绪。

嗨,愚人节真是来迟了五个月。

不知我们再次相见时,你的眼神中会带有什么感情。你是否会感到尴尬?(我知道我一定会。)眼里露出悔恨之神?讨厌?我没权利请求什么,但最害怕的是你漠不关心,因为我心中已刻出了洞,拥有你的回忆必须永存在心。

 

My relationship with Chinese

‘Chinese is such a beautiful language’, I exclaim in English。

Speaking Chinese is always a tongue-twister for me. I feel like I’m stringing a Chinese yo-yo with Western skip-rope. Chinese culture is like mandarin oranges, which I receive from relatives with the same wrinkly skin, and I swallow to be polite but do not feast on (the oranges not my relatives..)

472167.jpg   thanks to tcnj.chineseclub.weebly.com

我是一名华侨,前辈来zhi福建。他们漂洋过海下南洋,语言,思想,骨肉全属于唐山(他们安排把骨灰送回去)。可惜,我的长辈(祖父那一代)和毛泽东年代后的中国有点距离,我这年代的年轻人跟不用说,许多人已经选择‘断根’。。。

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Chinese poetry is beautiful though! What I love about Chinese are the various references and double-meanings, squeezed into each character. A phrase of 8 characters can take a paragraph of English to explain.

Chinese also has a bazillion homonyms (words with the same sounds – there aren’t many sounds to choose from when words are monosyllabic). Chinese poetry exploits this to the full. Take this excerpt from the famous “The East Wind sighs” by Li Shangyin, written in the 9th century. And even I, who failed my last Chinese essay at school, can understand it! (though I did have to google to understand the allusions to classic literature + what the ‘gold toad’ is. It’s just the lock of a door.)

金蟾嚙鎖燒香 (xiang)入 (A gold toad gnaws the lock. Open it, burn the incense.)

玉虎牽絲 (si)汲井回 (A tiger of jade pulls the rope. Draw from the well and escape.)

Here, xiang (香)means incense, and si (丝)is thread.

In a later line-

一寸相思 (xiangsi)一寸灰 (An inch of love is an inch of ashes)

Here, xiang (相)means ‘mutual’, and si(思)means ‘longing’, or ‘to miss’.

‘Mutual longing’ = lovesickness.

Chinese calligraphy (书法) is also pretty cool, there are 5 major script styles:

ebook-callig_ch02_5-scripts_600x340.jpg

and the pictographic nature of chinese characters have proven inspiration for poems:

岛/island

Only a bird

to begin with, and yet

it carries a mountain

under its wings.

published in last boy, by Ng Yi-sheng

And here is one of mine: Haiku #3- character: 愛

Words flow more easily to me in Chinese sometimes (not much of the time), so I have some Chinese posts. Chinese pop-songs have beautiful lyrics. I still struggle with Chinese, even when writing free-flow though. Can you fully appreciate what you do not fully understand? Probably not, which means it is even more to be discovered.

 

Response to day 3 of

A-to-Z Blogging Challenge

 

省略号

“…”

曾认为省略号是最讨厌的,对方以它隐藏真意,以沉默避开我的问题,宁愿透漏自己的虚伪,也不敢跟我直说。省略号。。。像三个洞,像在胸上创下的子弹伤。

昨晚,却领悟到省略号也可以是一种礼物。

分开后,真是tahan不了听到你的声音,

你的简讯嗡嗡传进我的手机里, 我勉强回应了。谈话中一直期待

你发讯时有省略号出现

让我在短暂的沉默中

好好呼吸一下。

 

為愛哭 為愛笑 卻找不到愛情難題的解藥,最後只能留下省略號

谈感情 - 刘力扬