Killing your babies

The beauty of editing. 

Cutting, pulling – no, ripping

– your old sentence structures, thinking, apart at the seams. 

Your own flesh and blood,

Stripping it down to the bones.

To know that you can easily rebuild words into something better. To let go. 

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Filling the Silence: How I Learned Chinese from a Stranger on the Train to Penzance (reblog)

We’ve been sat in silence for around an hour. Not actual silence, obviously – we’re on a train – but that specific breed of not talking that loiters aggressively on public transport, enabled by digital cocooning, fear of rejection, and an overzealous adherence to that childhood motto, ‘don’t talk to strangers’.

However, my own cocoon has seen better days. I’ve forgotten my headphones, grown bored of my e-reader and consumed more coffee than food, and frankly I’m struggling. It’s time to break the rules and TALK TO A STRANGER.

Source: Filling the Silence: How I Learned Chinese from a Stranger on the Train to Penzance

Deleted, rewritten

Used to not seeing you for so long,

Why do you suddenly reappear,

Lounging back in your chair, sprawled

Like a Greek god, head thrown back in laughter;

Arm outstretched, fingertips carelessly brushing

the sleeves of those who come like adoring subjects.

Sudden anger. Who are they to you, could they know more about you

than me?

1st Aug ’16

愚人节

你四月离去,还以为再也不会见到你,你却就在几个星期内回国,相信这次连你会同意玩笑开得有点残忍。五个月的时间,我没改变什么。 连手机中的简讯,照片,你吃饭时样子又有点蠢又可爱,视频中录下我的笑声,都保存着,显然,我始终没变聪明,学会了什么。原本希望我们在此相见时,我能以沉静的一副面对你,现在反而害怕会露出我依然还没彻底解除的情绪。

嗨,愚人节真是来迟了五个月。

不知我们再次相见时,你的眼神中会带有什么感情。你是否会感到尴尬?(我知道我一定会。)眼里露出悔恨之神?讨厌?我没权利请求什么,但最害怕的是你漠不关心,因为我心中已刻出了洞,拥有你的回忆必须永存在心。